Whiteout Conditions Read online

  As Sylas watched Grainger he realized two things: not only was it weird not being the one who was freaking out, but he also felt a pull, a need to comfort Grainger.

  “Grainger? Sit down.”

  “What? No, no, I’ve fucked this up. I should just….I should go,” he mumbled and then headed for the door.

  “Do not make me get out of this bed, mister!” Sylas said with a growl.

  Grainger froze with his palm on the door, back to Sylas, his head down. “Sylas, you’re not ready to hear this.”

  “With all due respect, Sir, fuck you.”

  Grainger’s head whipped around and he was shocked. He could not only see that Sylas was pissed, he could feel the anger rolling off of him in waves.

  Sylas raised his untethered hand and pointed a finger at Grainger, “You have no right to tell me what I am and am not ready for.”

  “You need to concentrate on healing, Sy.”

  “What I need is for you to sit the fuck back down. Now.”

  Grainger couldn’t hide the smile that he knew was on his face as he walked back over to the chair and sat down. Dear, sweet, shy Sylas had a firecracker hidden inside. Damn if that didn’t make Grainger want to do anything he could to see more of it.

  “Why do you feel like you should’ve been there Grainger?”

  Grainger sighed and turned his head towards the window. He couldn’t take seeing the trust that was in Sylas’ eyes right now because in a few moments it would probably be gone. How could it not be, when Grainger was about to sound like a deranged stalker?

  “Most of my life has been spent thinking there was something wrong with me. When I was a boy, it was my sexuality, which my parents told me every chance they could was wrong. Then, after Cece and I moved here to the states to get away from their toxicity, I thought there was something wrong with me emotionally because I could never connect with anyone, never had a real relationship. I’ve had people that I dated or hooked up with on a regular basis but never anyone who made me believe…..” his voice trailed off.

  Sylas swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry as his heart sped up, “Believe what, Grainger?”

  “That love was possible,” he whispered, his head still turned away.

  Somehow, him not looking at Sylas made it easier for him to have this conversation. But it didn’t mean that he didn’t have any nerves at all.

  “I made you feel that?” he said with a squeak in his voice.

  Grainger’s head finally turned and the look he pinned Sylas with took his breath away. “Yes, you did, Sy.”

  Five

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Vaughn

  Just as Caysun stood up from his place at the bar, Vaughn’s phone buzzed on the table. His eyes stayed locked on Caysun as the man headed towards the hall that led to the restrooms as he pressed his phone to his ear, “Yeah?”

  “We’re here. Brent is around back,” JD said.

  “Come inside. Caysun just went into the bathroom. I’m going to confront him there, I need you stationed outside the door.”

  The call ended without a word and then, as if no time had passed since the two of them had been partners, as if it had been only minutes instead of years, Vaughn felt JD behind him as he walked down the hall.

  When he pushed open the door to the restroom and stepped inside, Caysun was standing at the urinal. His eyes lifted to the mirror, glancing quickly at Vaughn before looking back down. And then they flicked back up and narrowed as he scrutinized Vaughn. Vaughn wasn’t wearing anything that would set him apart from anyone else in that offbeat bar. Just jeans and a t-shirt, shitkicker boots and leather bracelets around each wrist. Despite the fact that he didn’t think there was anything about him that would alert Caysun, the man looking at him in the mirror said, “FBI?”

  Vaughn resisted the urge to look down to see if maybe he’d left his badge clipped to his belt or some stupid shit like that.

  “Marshal,” he said.

  Caysun snorted a laugh, “What the fuck does a Marshal want with me?”

  Vaughn almost blurted out, it’s personal. What the fuck?

  “I have some questions,” he said as he waged an internal argument in his head trying to tell himself that he wasn’t attracted to Caysun Thorne.

  That he didn’t feel an urge to run his fingers through his hair.

  That he didn’t feel a need to taste his lips.

  That he wasn’t fighting the urge to run his eyes over the man’s body to see what he was packing.

  Caysun’s left eyebrow lifted and Vaughn couldn’t help but think that it too, was sexy as fuck.

  “You have some questions?”

  Caysun’s eyes on Vaughn was making him hotter by the second. He shoved his hands into his pockets and glanced to the side, “I need you to come with me.”

  Caysun snorted, “I’ll bet you do.”

  His eyes snapped back to Caysun and that was the moment he realized the double-entendre. He realized it because Caysun was now wearing a smirk that was so fucking hot it should’ve been illegal; it probably was in some states; all Vaughn knew was that it made him want to drop to his damn knees.

  “Look,” Vaughn said, pulling his hands from his pockets to keep them ready if he needed them.

  Caysun’s eyes scanned slowly down Vaughn’s body and Vaughn couldn’t look away if he tried. He watched, helpless, as those eyes made their way down, eyes so expressive and filled with emotion that he could feel that gaze like a caress, as if it were Caysun’s fingertips and tongue that were touching him, not just his gaze. And when they got to the growing bulge in Vaughn’s jeans, well, the hip punch and shiver that racked Vaughn’s body were completely out of his control. But once they happened, Caysun’s eyes snapped back up to Vaughn’s and that smirk was firmly back in place.

  “I’m looking. And I definitely like what I see,” he said in a smooth, sexy timber that had Vaughn’s dick leaking and begging to come out to play.

  Vaughn sighed as he tried to regain some of his control.

  “Do I need to use my cuffs?”

  Somehow it was possible for that smirk to get even sexier as Caysun held his hands out in front of them and said, “Absolutely.”

  Vaughn hated that he hesitated for a moment before he stepped forward. Vaughn Kepler feared no one. But Caysun Rourke - with his muscular frame, that was even with Vaughn’s own six-foot-two, his wavy auburn hair that begged for Vaughn’s fingers, his full, red lips, his two or three day scruff, and his blue-green eyes that spoke more than his words did - this man froze Vaughn in his tracks.

  That wouldn’t do.

  He took a deep breath, lifted his shirt and reached to the holster on the back of his jeans, unsnapped it, pulled the cuffs out and took a few steps forward.

  He refused to acknowledge the zing of electricity that shot up his arm the moment he touched Caysun’s skin. He fought to keep the trembling in his fingers unnoticeable. He clamped the first cuff around Caysun’s left wrist. But when he reached for the right, Caysun turned his hand over and gripped Vaughn’s wrist.

  Vaughn’s eyes snapped up in time to see that smirk once again as Caysun held him in place as he leaned forward. His lips brushed against Vaughn’s ear as he whispered, “I do hope you’ll make this worth my while, detective.”

  Vaughn bit his lower lip to keep from groaning.

  Then he snapped the other cuff in place and stepped back, forcing his eyes to lock with Caysun’s.

  “It’s deputy.”

  Caysun hummed, “Mmmm, I like that too.”

  Vaughn locked his hand around the back of Caysun’s arm and led him to the door. When they both stepped out into the hall, JD stepped forward.

  Caysun looked him up and down, “We haven’t talked about bringing in a third, babe, but I suppose he can join. But only because he’s damn sexy.”

  JD grinned and winked, “You got things under control, Vaughn?”

  “Mmmm, Vaughn. I like it. It just rolls off the tongue
perfectly, doesn’t it?”

  Vaughn’s hand tightened on Caysun’s arm, “Let’s go,” he said as he turned them towards the exit at the end of the hall, with JD right behind them, chuckling the whole way.

  Six

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Sylas

  Sylas’ heart was pounding in his chest. He had no idea what to say. He made someone believe in love? And not just someone, but Grainger Peele? A man who looked like he fell to earth from the Greek Gods’ heaven?

  How was that even possible?

  The only answer was: it wasn’t. Sylas had to be in a coma or something and stuck in a dream; an amazing one, but a dream nonetheless.

  He squeezed his eyes shut.

  “Hey, are you okay? Are you in pain?” that familiar deep timbre slightly tinged with a british accent whispered, followed by the warmth of a hand resting on his arm.

  Sylas’ eyes blinked open and he stared.

  “You’re here. You’re really here.”

  Grainger smiled and brushed the hair back from Sylas’ forehead, “Of course I am, luv. Where else would I be?”

  “Um, with your sister? Your boyfriend? Your husband? Anywhere but here with me?”

  Grainger frowned at Sylas but then something crossed his face - something that looked an awful lot like understanding mixed with determination.

  He reached behind to pull the chair forward again, sat down and clasped Sylas’ hand, “Hi, my name is Grainger Peele. I’m thirty-eight, originally from London, migrated here right after school because my parents are homophobic pricks. I’m a psychologist specializing in LGBT-driven issues and I run a practice here in Denver with my sister.”

  When he stopped talking, he smiled at Sylas with a look on his face like a kid waiting for his first present on Christmas morning. The only problem? Talking about himself was not something that Sylas did...like, ever.

  But maybe it was time to change that.

  He took a deep breath and then….

  “Um,” was all he managed to get out before he was pulling his lower lip between his teeth.

  Grainger pressed his thumb against it, pulling it out as he said, “Take your time, luv. I’m not going anywhere.”

  The kindness and patience in Grainger’s eyes was what gave Sylas the strength to try again.

  “I’m, um, my name is Sylas Thorne and I’ve suffered from severe anxiety disorder pretty much my whole life, at least as long as I can remember. I’m borderline agoraphobic because of it. I spend my days beta testing video games, designing online security programs for corporations and also doing some work for the US Government and military that I can’t talk about. I’ve never had a boyfriend because of that but I’m not a virgin,” he said with a blush as his eyes lifted to Grainger’s for a moment before sliding closed from embarrassment.

  Why had he blurted that out?

  Grainger’s fingers and thumb cupped Sylas’ chin, turning his head back until it was facing him. And then he waited. Patiently. God, he was so damn patient.

  Because of that, Sylas found the courage to open his eyes to look at him.

  “Sylas?”

  “Yes?”

  “The no boyfriend thing was not because of the anxiety. It’s because you hadn’t found someone strong enough, it was because you hadn’t found someone understanding enough, you hadn’t found someone patient enough. It was because you hadn’t found…...me.”

  “But,” he sighed, “Grainger, I need to fix me before I can even think about,” he stopped when Grainger pressed a finger to his lips.

  “Look, I get that this is fast, I get that it feels, well, kind of crazy. But here’s the thing. Normally I would’ve asked you out on a date. Normally I would’ve taken my time getting to know you. Normally I would’ve agonized over whether what I was feeling was real or not. But normal flew out the fucking window the moment you died in my arms, Sylas. When I had to perform CPR on you, when I had to breathe my air into your lungs, that was the moment that I knew that not only would I do anything to bring you back, but I also knew that I didn’t want to leave you, that I wanted us together, that I wanted to love you. Is it fast? Hell yes, it is. But you tell me where in the definition of love it says it’s only true if it builds slowly over time. Where does it say that what I’m feeling can’t possibly be real? Show me where it says that, Sylas. Because my heart sure as fuck didn’t get that memo.”

  Sylas worried his lower lip again, “But, but, I can’t love you back,” he blurted out.

  Grainger felt like his entire world had tipped on its axis. His stomach dropped, and he felt like he might throw up. “What?” he whispered.

  “Not the way I should, not the way you deserve to be loved. I’m too fucked up, Grainger.”

  Grainger felt like he could breathe again.

  “Bullshit,” he said. “We all have issues, luv. Every single person walking this earth struggles everyday with something. Some are just better masking it than others.”

  “What do you struggle with?” Sylas whispered so quietly that Grainger barely heard it.

  He sighed, “Now really isn’t the time for this, Sy.”

  “Please, Grainger. I need to know.”

  Grainger stared into those big brown eyes flecked with gold, eyes that yearned, eyes full of trust….for him.

  “My parents’ rejection,” he whispered out loud for the first time to someone other than his sister.

  “Oh, Grainger, I’m so sorry,” Sylas whispered.

  “Who the hell are you?” a voice said from the doorway.

  When Grainger looked over he saw a very pissed off looking man with dark blonde hair and glasses. He looked kind of nerdy in a sexy way just like……

  Grainger glanced down at Sylas and watched the way he looked at this man. They were so similar and obviously knew each other….could he be Sylas’ boyfriend?

  “Cole!” Sylas said with a smile, “Where’s that sexy husband of yours?”

  A gorgeous...and huge….man with black hair and green eyes stepped in behind Cole.

  “Like I’d ever let him go anywhere without me,” the man said.

  “Hi Kelly.”

  “Hey Sylas, how’re you doing?” his eyes shifted to Grainger and he smirked, “looks like you’re doing well.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry. Kelly, Cole, Grainger,” he said by way of introductions.

  “Someone needs to make this wall of muscle move,” a voice said from behind Kelly.

  He and Cole turned around to see a nurse who couldn’t be much more than five feet tall.

  “Time to change your dressing, hun,” she said as she stepped inside. She looked around at all the faces, “Visitors are supposed to stay at two but I’ll make an exception for you guys, but only because you’re all so cute.”

  “That’s okay. I was just going to go down to get some coffee. Grainger, how about you join me?” Kelly said.

  “Ah, the inquisition begins,” Grainger said with a smile, “I’d love to.”

  “Be nice, Kelly,” Sylas said with an adorable growl that made Grainger want to kiss him.

  But not yet.

  Not until Sylas was better.

  With a final squeeze to Sylas’ hand he stepped towards the firing squad.

  Seven

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Vaughn

  He struggled to regain his control as he walked Caysun down the hall. He was both angry and terrified of the feelings that were bombarding him. The man whose arm his fingers were currently closed around unnerved him in a way he’d never felt before. It was disconcerting, to say the least.

  “Why, Deputy, I do believe you’re trembling,” Caysun said with a smug grin.

  Was he?

  Maybe.

  But he’d never let Caysun know that.

  He just squeezed his fingers a little tighter.

  Caysun grunted, “Ooo, marks. I like it when you’re rough.”

  Shit.

  He loosened his gr
ip a bit and mumbled out a “sorry,” as he pushed open the door where he found a wall of drop-dead sexy that Vaughn could only assume was JD’s husband.

  “Damn, this day just keeps getting better and better,” Caysun said, his voice dripping with sex as his eyes scanned up and down the man’s body.

  Vaughn kinda hoped Brent would punch Caysun right in his smug face.

  He glared at Vaughn, “You interrupted a spectacular blow job for this?”

  JD laughed as he stepped out the door behind them and walked over to Brent, “Babe. All my blow jobs are spectacular. You’ll be fine.”

  “Tell that to my blue balls, husband.”

  JD walked over to Brent, wrapped him in his arms and pressed a kiss to the side of his mouth as he said, “The only way you could ever get blue balls was if you got locked in a freezer, babe. You get more tail than anyone needs.”

  Brent gasped, “Blasphemy! Why do you speak such lies? I always need more when it comes to your tail, cowboy.”

  Vaughn and Caysun had stood by quietly watching the scene in front of them until…

  “A foursome? I can handle that, Deputy,” Caysun said with a wink.

  “I’ve had about all I’m going to take out of you. Come on,” he said as he tried to step forward but when Caysun didn’t budge, he turned to look at him.

  “We do have a small problem, though,” Caysun said.

  Vaughn’s eyes narrowed. He knew this had been too easy.

  “And what’s that?”

  “My bike.”

  “You, your, oh, you mean motorcycle?”

  Caysun nodded, “Yep. Where I go, he goes.”

  Vaughn grunted, “Fine, JD here can drive it…”

  “Nope,” Caysun said with a shake of his head.

  “Listen up, Rourke. You’re hardly in a position to….”

  “Am I under arrest, Deputy?”

  Vaughn’s lips snapped shut. He sure as fuck didn’t want to fall down that rabbit hole.

  Caysun grunted, “That’s what I thought. So, let me tell you how this is gonna go; I’m going to follow you on my bike.”